The joys of having one's teeth pulled.

I have a friend (this is for you Chick!) going in to have her wisdom teeth pulled out soon, and I found this old post (3/14/09) on a previous blog of mine. Here it is and I hope you enjoy!

Now, I'm not one for shots and the mention of someone doing surgery on me, well... that's just down right nerve racking! Before my teeth were pulled this is what some friends had to say to me:

"Oh, gimme a break!" - David

"You'll be fine" -Khristi

"Ruth. It's just teeth." -Mom

"...but 4011 people ... over 4011 have had there wisdom teeth taken out and survived to tell about it :-) So i don't think you have to much to worry about there :-)" -Heather

"Chill!" -Myself

What really encouraged and helped me through was Philippians 4:5-6, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpassess all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

So this Thursday I actually went in to get the teeth yanked. I was laughing and a bit hipper because I was so nervous. Patrick shared a song with me the night before called "Short People" by Randy Newman and there's a line in the song I think is hilarious:

They got little baby legs

That stand so low

You got to pick em up

Just to say hello

They got little cars

That go beep, beep, beep

They got little voices

Goin peep, peep, peep

As Mom drove to the oral surgeon I kept laughing over that line and my favorite lines from "Mulan".

There was this young surgeon who called me in, "You're awfully excited." I'm like, "No, I'm just nervous!"

As he was getting me ready, hooking me up, placing some kind of snaky tool on my chest, putting a thing on my finger, etc, he talked to me. He found out that I was an organizer and was thrilled and as we kept talking he said, "I'm gonna call you, ok?" He was being so friendly with me, I wasn't sure if he meant he wanted to go out with me or have me organize him! I just stared at him, speechless.

"Do you have any questions?" "Yes. Are you going to stick me with a needle?" "Yes, just one. I'll hold your hand." What?!? I mean I'm nervous, but I don't think I want you to hold my hand!

When the Dr. came in(I think he was the young guy's father) he starts talking to me. He starts by putting a tourniquet on my arm, then wipes a spot on my arm with a cold, wet cloth. It was the kind that is used to prep for a needle, and I knew it. I started breathing heavy and looked the other way. The young guy (fortunately instead of my hand) grabbed my wrist to help me relax. "See, that wasn't so bad." "It does sting a little." My chest started to get heavy and it became hard to think and breath. The last thing I remember is them putting some black thing in my mouth to hold it open...

"We're all done." That's nice. I'll just sleep here. "Here are your teeth. I told you I'd show them to you." Ok, all I see is some little white things in your hand with blood on them. I can't see a thing! I don't have my glasses on and I'm barely awake! "Wake up!" I don't want to, it feels so nice to sleep! The young doctor grabs my leg and gently shakes me. "Come on, wake up." *groan* At some point he helps me stand up and walk over to a recliner. I promptly curled up to go back to sleep. Mom came in, and the Dr. talked to her for a bit while trying to still make me wake up. I don't want to wake up! Obviously nobody listens to what I'm thinking because they wouldn't let me leave until I did wake up. While in there, I looked over at a mirror and with all the gauze in my mouth I had some serious chipmunk cheeks!

Several people told Mom that I laughed through the whole thing. If it can be believed, it's not too surprising. Haha!

I really did try to wake up so I could leave, get in the car and go back to sleep. To walk out the young guy put his arm around me and held my hand. I can do this, I'm just fine! I didn't say it out loud because I knew it wasn't true and they wouldn't listen even it I did say it.

"So you must really like this job, getting to put your arm around all the girls and walk them to their cars." I don't remember what the young guy's response was to Mom's comment, but I was thinking, MOM!

As soon as I got in the car, I leaned the seat back and slept. And boy was it nice!!

When I got home I watched a couple movies. I kept having to pause them because I'd get so sleepy I couldn't think. I feel so drugged! Oh yes, that's because I am!

My bottom lip and chin were numb. When I would lick my bottom lip, it felt like someone had injected collagen into it. I kept looking in the mirror to make sure I didn't have a giant lip!

To keep the swelling down for the first 36 hours, I had to keep ice on my face. 20 minutes on and 20 minutes off all day long. The rig up was quite something so see! Dad had to take care of me on Friday when Mom left. He made new ice bags, and I was like what did you use? "Poop bags!" Oh, wow! That really makes me want to put that up to my face! See, he used grocery sacks which we also use to clean out the dog pen. His choice of words could have been better! LOL

The best part of the whole experience was the going to sleep part! I'd like to do that again! :D

No Girls.

Sometimes I end up talking about our future children, either with family, friends, or my husband. The other night, the day after a friend's baby girl shower, I was talking to my mother-in-law about my sister's and my conversation.

"We were talking about how my daughter is going to be well dressed in girly clothes with all your Goodwill shopping." (My mother finds beautiful dresses for my 8-year-old cousin to save her parents money who don't have good thrift stores.)

My husband interjected, "No. We're not having any girls. No girls."

"Yes you will!" His mom responded.

"No! Because if we have girls," there was a small pause, "I'll have to give them away!"

The hazards of grocery stores close to home... Part 2

One evening on the way home from church Benjamin asked his mom to drop us off at the grocery store and so we could walk home. (Benjamin, his mom, his brother, and I go to church together to save gas.) We had been planning to go on a walk, but hadn't found the time yet, so...

We stepped inside the store to make a few purchases before beginning our walk. First on the list was rice... 20 pounds of rice (as much as we eat it, I thought it was a good bargain). My husband promptly asked me, "You do remember we are walking home and we have to carry it?" I nodded with far to much excitement over my inconvenient bargain. Next, grapes were on sale and my husband let me buy my favorite gluten-free (store-bought) cookies.

As we made our way home, we were barely out of the store parking lot when my husband decided I was moving rather slowly. Truly, I was rather a snail that night and of course I blamed it on the purse loaded with Bibles and notebooks and another bag with grapes and (yummy!!) cookies. I was also sore from some other activity and had no inclination to move quickly.

My dashing man humored me (because he loves me in spite of myself) and the result was quite a sight. He placed me on his shoulders, I balanced the bag of rice on his head, purse thrown over my shoulder, and the one grocery bag in one of his free hands.

I couldn't help but laugh, but I thought how special I was to be small enough and my husband not only tall, but also strong enough. Yes. I do have a keeper.

The hazards of grocery stores close to home... Part 1

Yesterday the car was in the shop and I needed some fresh fruit, milk - just a few of the basics. Fortunately, Food Lion is in walking distance, so I headed out before the heat wave set in.

My visit was successful and I managed to walk out with only two bags, one for each hand. A heavy bag for each hand.

There is a point in the trip where I have to cross a busy four lanes of traffic. As I neared the cross walk, I noticed a service truck parked on the side walk across the street.

How am I supposed to walk around that truck? I thought I was going to have to walk on the road against traffic to get around it and I thought, There is no way I'm going to be able to hurry with these two bags!

As I waited for my turn to cross, I set down the bags and tried to decide what I was going to do upon reaching the other side. Then the little crosswalk guy was up and I hurried to grab my bags. Before I knew it, the little man was gone and I was faced with a flashing orange hand! Those things always seem to scream at me, "Warning! Warning! Emanate danger! If you don't make it across in three seconds, you will be run over! Warning!"

And then I was full out running in front of about half a dozen cars, a purse thrown over one shoulder and a bag in each hand weighing me down. I felt like I had gained led feet and thought, I must look absolutely ridiculous running like this in front of all these people, for they have nothing better to do at a red light than watch a short woman run with grocery bags looking stupid!

I slowed upon reaching the other side while the little hand continued to flash. As I neared the truck I could see there was about two feet between the truck and the road for me to get by, even with my extra bag width. As I began to get around, the driver of the truck rolled down his window.

"Ma'am?"

"Yes?"

"You realize that when the hand flashes you have 20 more seconds to finish crossing?"

*Gulp* "Yeah, I just get nervous and hurry across. Thanks, though." I shrugged and laughed at myself.

"Okay. Just wanted to make sure."

I laughed. It was either that or die of embarrassment.

Buffalos and Planes

Benjamin and I were heading back from the great state of WY. We were there for his brother's graduation from Jackson Hole Bible College.

We were waiting for the plane to be defrosted at the Jackson Hole airport before departing, and I was looking out the window at the tarmac.

"I wonder how often they have to deal with wildlife on the tarmac..." I said.

"Often, I'm sure." Benjamin replied. Then he turned to me in all seriousness and said, "Didn't you notice the buffalo wedge on the front of the plane?" He paused, and then, "Just like on a train?"

We both laughed. I may be rather gullible at times, but there was no why I was falling for that one.

A few minutes later I was watching the airline workers spray the wings with the defrosting liquid. It was a pink/red color. It looked and smelled horrid. I turned to Ben and said, "Isn't that stuff nasty? What an awful color."

"Buffalo blood." He responded in a matter-of-fact way. "They use every bit of them just like the Indians did."

We laughed.

"Shh!"

One evening, Benjamin, his mom Terri, Andrea, Sonja and I were sitting around in Terri's den talking. At some point in the conversation we started talking about Benjamin's younger brother Cort.

"I taught him everything he knows!" Benjamin said proudly.

"I don't know about that..." Terri said.

"Shh! 'Course I did." Benjamin replied.

There was a pause in the conversation and then...

"Don't 'Shh!' me!" Benjamin said adimitly.

I wasn't looking his way when he said it but there was a moment of which I thought to myself, Did I hear that wrong? It sounds like he just told himself not to "Shh!" himself.

I turned, along with everyone else, to stare at him in disbelief.

"I didn't 'shoosh' you! You just 'shooshed' yourself!" his mother responded.

"It was done in the kitchen, with the parchment paper, by Miss Ruth"

*Warning: This is not for those who are faint at heart when it comes to bug (guts included) stories. ;) But for those who dare, I hope you get a laugh and share your own tales in the comments.*

It was after 10:30 pm.

Oh shoot! I still forgot to put away the pasta!

Since everyone was in bed, I crept down the stairs. Once in the kitchen I flipped on the light and saw him. A cockroach that had dared to enter the house.

Grr! I don't have a shoe... What am I going to kill him with!?

If you know me at all, not having a shoe does not stop me from chasing after and killing the nasty, crunchy pests. I have late night tales of squashing them with the only thing I had handy, a socked foot, a shoe, a bare foot, or a kleenex box. It's a gruesome and deadly business (for the enemy, that is), but someone must do it!

In this particular case, I grabbed what I could - a box full of parchment paper.

Target acquired. Aim. ... Shoot! I missed. But... where'd he go?

I gasped. It was crawling up my arm. I shook my arm violently. Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! my mind screamed.

Once it fell to the ground, I used my weapon and struck true. Seeing it splayed on the kitchen linoleum brought sheer satisfaction and I smiled to myself. A few moments later Mom came out of her room, "Are you alright?"

*Victorious laugh* To the cockroach who dared to crawl from my blanket when I was making my bed a couple weeks ago... You're the only one I have seen and not been able to kill and you're mine!!! Mwhaha!!

*Clears throat and tries to act mature again* Nice weather we're having, no? ;)