6-Year-Old Aspirations

Recently, Reuben, my nephew, told Grandma his aspirations for his work life.

He told my mom that, before he gets married, he wants to drive the luggage carriers at the airport. After he gets married (Mom thought, "Great! Now he's going to tell me about the real job he wants."), he would like to drive the fork-life trucks that take the garbage away! His dad is working to inform him there are plenty of great things to drive that pay a whole lot better.

Hopefully, by the time he's ready to get a job, his aspirations will have grown...

The Grocery Store Experience, Ruth Style

"Honey. Where's the honey?" I talked to myself as I wondered through the Harris Teeter. It keeps me sane and helps me think as I try to locate things in grocery stories. For me, grocery shopping is a necessity and not a joy. It must be done, but it is not something I look forward to. Who does?

This particular day, Mom had asked me to pick up some things that were on sale on my way home. No problem. However, due to the fact I don't frequent grocery stories and that this specific Harris Teeter was oriented opposite to all the other Harris Teeters, I was having difficulty finding the things I needed. I laugh at the idea of what my path through the store would look like if I had red paint on the bottom of my shoes. Up, down. Over. Across. Opps! Better check that aisle, maybe it's there. Zig, zag through the aisle. All the way up one side of the store (looking up at the signs for any "sign" of my item), and all the way back down (looking to the side, scanning the aisles from a distance for any clue). I could spend close to an hour shopping, because of this. I'm perfectly happy trying to figure it out on my own. Here's the rub: there are these people, usually, who are very nice with name tags that say, "How can I help you?" and then they say, "Can I help you with something?"

"No. I'm good." I then try and proceed with my wondering, but in my unorderliness, I keep running into them. Sometimes they shake their heads and laugh, some try and ask again, "Are you sure you don't need any help?" and then others are just too busy to help anybody but themselves, even if I had changed my mind!

Back to my story. Through my individual method I had already found most of the items on my list or come to the conclusion they were not there. I had been asked by this very nice gentleman if I needed help. I, of course, declined, but as I kept trying to find the honey, it kept alluding me. This item I could not conclude would not be there. I mean, what grocery store doesn't have honey?

Finally, I got up the guts to ask the very nice man. His response was quite out of the norm and rather surprising. "Oh no!" he said, with a twinkle in his eye, "You already had your chance!"

Here I get up the guts to admit I need help, in a grocery store no less! and he gives me a hard time! I laughed good naturedly, appreciating his humor; wanting to die due to my pride. After giving me a hard time, I guess he decided he'd had enough fun, and showed me where the honey was.

The *Deer* Show

Some years ago I was at the State Fair with my friend Elizabeth (big surprise there). In the Jim Graham Building, we wandered over to where competitors were showing their sheep. We climbed up and took a seat in the bleachers.

These are some thoughts that were going through Elizabeth's head as we settled in to watch: We're surrounded by these people from the country and we must look and sound like some ignorant city folk. Just need to blend in here... Don't say anything to prove what they might be thinking.

My phone rang.

"Oh! Hey Mom! ... Yeah, we're just over here watching the deer show."

At that moment, Elizabeth tries to imagine sinking into the bleachers and disappearing. Oh no! I am so embarrassed!

I, on the other hand, was oblivious to what I had said. Mentally I thought "sheep" and didn't realize I had said something quite different.

If I remember correctly, after hanging up with Mom, Elizabeth had us make a quick exit from the sheep show.

To this day, when we're at the State Fair and we see the same show going on, Elizabeth will lean over and whisper to me, "Look Ruth. There's the deer show."

We laugh.

Quotes:

At or after the State Fair today, my niece and nephew had this to say:

-

Seeing some large, beautifully decorated moccasins in the Hand Craft & Hobby section, Reuben said, "Grandma, if you put those on you would look like a clown!" A six-year-olds interpretation of Indian culture. We'll have to work on that.

-

"Oh! G-pa, I want some corn!" Reuben said in excitement.

"How would you eat it, buddy?!" G-Pa responded in astonishment.

Reuben's gap of 5 missing teeth, in the front, inhibited his ability to eat this desired food....

-

On the way home, we were explaining some family dynamics to Reuben and Anne Marie. Mom explained that Nathaniel (my older brother and their dad) was her first son, but that Dad already had two girls.

Misunderstanding, Anne Marie responded, "I know boys don't have no babies!"

Of Lateness and A Missing Card

“Ahh! This exit! I knew I was going to mess up here!” I bemoaned the wrong turn I took at the split.

“It said B!?!” Anna was bewildered with our NC signs.

“But this is 40, not Crossroads...” I whined.

“Oh, it’s supposed to be 101 B!”

I tried not to yell too much at the exits that came after Benson/64 and before Cary Parkway. Ever since I first started driving they had caused me no end of grief. Literally.

Coal in My Stocking coincided with Anna saying, “Woohoo!” as I took the sharp round-about. It wouldn’t be the first one I took to get back to the right exit.

“6:15!!?” A glance at the clock told me we were really late. “Quick! Call Heather and tell her I I don’t like that switch and always get lost!” There’s nothing that quite frazzles me as much as being late (and therefore wasting someone else’s time) and getting lost.

We finally pulled into Red Robin and, “Quick! Hand me the card so I can finish writing in it so we can go inside!”

Anna starts looking through her Bible, “Wait...? Where is it?”

Thus began the search. We looked in between the seats, in the purses and bags. No card.

“What’d you do with it?!” My organized personality was feeling highly unorganized and therefore lost and confused, not at all mad at poor Anna.

“I don’t know!”

“You didn’t leave the car!!” I wailed.

“Oh no! There’s the T. family!” When one is late, one thinks irrationally. Why I was so concerned with them being there, since I wasn’t there to see them in the first place, I’m not quite sure. “Oh, good! They don’t see us!”

As soon as they stepped inside, Anna and I opened the doors, pulled the seats back, and rechecked everything, about three times over. To no avail. Poor Anna; she couldn’t stop apologizing.

“Didn’t you have it?” She asked.

“No. I handed it back to you to put in the envelope until we got here.”

Finally, we pronounced the card missing in action. I decided we had kept Heather waiting long enough as it was. I went inside to apologize to poor Heather. Profusely.

Later that evening, after a great dinner and late night talking with fabulous friends, Anna and I went back to the car.

“Alright, before we go, we have to find that card!!” By now, I was no longer frazzled and began to laugh at the lost card and the whole situation.

We began to search everywhere again, but now that it was dark I had my flashlight on. As I was checking between the seat again, the light reflected off of the clear envelope.

Anna and I had a laugh.

Quote:

"Yes, I know I'm a nudge." -Elizabeth

My friend, "Lizzie," really likes the character Riley on National Treasure. She was quoting the line from the movie, but I had, for some odd reason, never really "heard" it before. The use of nudge in this particular part of speech had me rolling! :D

"Japan!?!"

For some strange reason, as I was driving home today with the family, I had my greeting with Sophie stuck in my head, like a broken record. I'll explain. Sophie is 13 and autistic, so she says and does things that are... out of the norm, shall we say. For an unknown reason to me, she loves me and gets excited when I come to watch her and her siblings a couple times a week.

Here is how our greeting typically goes:

"Japan!?!" -Sophie (More like Ja-Pan)

"Parker?" -Me (She does not like the name Sophie, so she has us call her Parker)

"Japan!?!" -Sophie

"Parker?" -Me

"My digital 12! Ja-lighting! Jamica! My little Zeter bug!" -Sophie (The Zulu patrol used to be one of her favorite cartoons about aliens, and one of the aliens was named Zeter and she looked like a purple ant. Quite a compliment to be called that.)

Then I get a hug, and probably a kiss or two on the shoulder.

So, on the way home, I had this dialog going through my head, and for some unknown reason I began repeating it! And laughing! "I feel like I'm going mad!"

It's strange, how, when I get there to watch her, I think how tiresome it is, but when I step back, it's really rather humorous. And seriously, who else gets to be called Japan? I mean, that is a privilege! :) You only wish you could be called that too!

Sneezing Baby Panda

This just struck me as quite funny! Hope you enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRH3iTQPrk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Efacebook%2Ecom%2Fhome%2Ephp%3Fref%3Dhome&feature=player_embedded#t=16

Note to self:

Have you ever noticed those "Wildlife Viewing Area" signs? The brown ones? 

The thing that has always been nagging, at the back of my mind, is the symbol/picture displayed. Is it a picture of the thing you stand on to view? Is it some kind of statue that some how goes with wildlife viewing? It reminds me of Stonehenge.... Questions like this would constantly go through my subconscious every time I would see one. 

That is, until today. Today something clicked and what do you know?! It's a picture of binoculars standing up! Doh!

Phones and Codes

My friend Elizabeth showed this to me the other day... I was in stitches!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohE_edBCM0Q

Note to self:

If there's a horrid smell in the kitchen and the trash *seems* to be the culprit, do not, I repeat, do NOT bend down over it and take a long deep breath. Bad idea. Bleh!

Bubbles in the Rain

I headed downstairs, as the rain continued to come down outside. I was at work at my brother's and I had already seen how Anne Marie and Reuben had been enjoying the downpour. Last time I had seen the 4 and 6-year-old they looked like little wet... things, drenched from head to toe. 

All of a sudden Anne Marie runs past me with a bottle of some kind (possibly shampoo) making a 'b' line for the front door. Wha...? I didn't stay in the same place long to contemplate it. 

About 5 or 10 minutes later I heard someone knocking at the garage door. It sounded like a little voice was saying, "Reuben!! Let me in!" I dashed to the door to find Anne Marie dripping with bubbles all in her hair, running down her face and on her shoulders. 

Making sure to instruct her not to move from the mat in the hall, I ran to get Katie. I still hadn't quite put all the pieces of this puzzle together. 

About 5 minutes later, Katie's reaction, "Anne Marie! I told you to get the shampoo, not the bubble bath! The kind that pumps into your hand!"

Apparently Katie had given Anne Marie permission to wash her hair in the rain. (What kid wouldn't want the chance to do that?) Anne Marie just got the wrong bottle and the rain ended before she could complete her rinse!

"Go upstairs in Mama and Daddy's shower and rinse off."

Big brother Reuben steps into help, "Come on Anne Marie. I'll turn on the shower for you!" 

Car Naivety

I may have driven my car when the transmission fluid was pouring out, but I hope I never am this naive: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-coXZjNw7lc

Snarky

Something about how this word sounds just excites me. The combination of the 's' and 'n' make it roll off of the tongue. Unfortunately for me, the word is not used in a positive sense. Here is the definition: sharply critical; cutting; snide (Mac dictionary). Pleasant thoughts, no? And now that I think about it, snide does the same thing! Sounds great but does not invoke encouraging thoughts. Bummer!